I have to be accountable


Apr 12, 2020

 by Cindee Henderson
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Day 1  4/11/2020

I was in denial long enough.  I was letting “her” win yet again.  I only ask God for forgiveness as I was on the road to trashing the body He has given me.  A body strong, resilient and totally dependent upon sugar and other earthly things instead of Him.  

 

Today I was honest – I weighed and measured myself.  I don’t recall when I was this heavy….  Before it was a goal on the way down now it’s a new starting point.  1 more pound and it would have been another group of 10…. That makes me sad and determined all at the same time.  I have asked God to help me yet again, climb back off the throne and let Him have the seat that is rightfully His.  He knows what I need…….I obviously do not.

I use food to numb…. I’ve known that.  I use food when I’m tired, when I’m stressed, when I am overwhelmed and when I’m bored.  There was a time when I said I was not an emotional eater…. WOW is that ever a lie! 

Today I had a healthy shake, a snack of apple and peanut butter when I wanted licorice and the rest of the day was a step up from where I normally am.  I dug out my food/exercise journal and started tracking.  I have all the tools I need. 

A perfect day?  No.  A step in the right direction, yes.  I’m not after perfection.  I am after being persistent in my choices, being aware and not letting my emotions rule what I put in my mouth.

I choose healthy.  I want to be healthy.  Nobody wants to “follow” an unhealthy coach.  I wouldn’t follow me, so why would you.  I will be healthy.  Want is a wish – will be is an action.

Step 1 – included a walk even when I didn’t want to go out in the wind.  I did it anyway. 

I will do this anyway….  One day will become 2 and then 3 and then 4…..